Equestrian Definitions

If you're fairly new to the horse scene, you've probably heard more experienced equestrians throwing around words you don't understand. For your education and amusement, here are some definitions of common equestrian terms.

Auction

A popular, social gathering where you can change a horse from a financial liability into a liquid asset.

Azoturia (Monday Morning Disease)

a condition brought on by showing horses all weekend. Symptoms include the feeling of dread at having to get out of bed on Mondays and go to work.

Barn Sour

An affliction common to horse people in northern climates during the winter months. Trudging through deep snow, pushing wheelbarrows through snow and beating out frozen water buckets tend to bring on this condition rapidly.

Big Name Trainer

Cult Leader: Horse owners follow them blindly, will gladly sell their homes, spend their children's college funds and their IRA's to support them- as they have a direct link to "The Most High Ones" (Judges).

Bog Spavin

The feeling of panic when riding through marshy area. Also used to refer to horses who throw a fit at having to go through water puddles.

Bolt

to gulp feed usually occurs with sandwiches at half-hour holds.

Bran

A wheat by-product occasionally fed moistened to horses, most usually applied as spackel or stucco on owner.

Colic

The gastrointestinal result of eating at the food stands at horse shows.

Colt

What your mare always gives you when you want a filly.

Contracted foot

The involuntary/instant reflex of curling one's toes up - right before a horse steps on your foot.

Corn

small callus growths formed from the continual wearing of cowboy boots.

Cribbing

The vice of chewing your pencils while worrying as you figuring cost of next year s hay.

Drench

Term used to describe the condition an owner is in after he administers mineral oil to his horse.

Endurance ride

The end result when your horse spooks and runs away with you in the woods.

Equitation

The ability to keep a smile on your face and proper posture while your horse tries to crowhop, shy and buck his way around a show ring.

Feed

Expensive substance utilized in the manufacture of large quantities of manure

Fences

Decorative perimeter structures built to give a horse something to chew on, scratch against and jump over (see inbreeding).

Flea-bitten

A condition of the lower extremities in horse owners who also own dogs and cats.

Flies

The excuse of choice a horse uses so he can kick you, buck you off or knock you over - he cannot be punished.

Founder

1.) The discovery of your loose mare-some miles from your farm, usually in a flower bed or cornfield. Used like-"Hey, honey, I found'er." 2.) A condition that happens to most people after Thanksgiving dinner

Frog

Small amphibious animal that emits a high-pitched squeal when stepped on.

Gallop

The customary gait a horse chooses when returning to the barn

Gates

Wooden or metal structures built to amuse horses.

Girth Sores

Painful swelling and abrasion made at the point of mid-section by fashionable large western belt buckles.

Green Broke

The color of the face of the person who has just gotten the training bill from the Big Name Trainer...

Grooming

The fine art of brushing the dirt from one's horse and applying it to your own body.

Grooms

Heavy, stationary objects used at horse shows to hold down lawn chairs and show bills. (see pit crews)

Hay

A green itchy material that collects between layers of clothing, especially in unmentionable places.

Head Shy

A reluctance to use the public restrooms at any horse event. Always applies to pit toilets.

Head Tosser

A blonde-haired woman who wears fashion boots while working in the barn.

Heaves

The act of unloading a truckful of hay.

Hobbles

Describes the walking gait of a horse owner after his/her foot has been stepped on by his/her horse.

Hock

The financial condition that a horse owner goes into.

Hoof Pick

Useful, curbed metal tool utilized to remove hardened dog doo from the treads of your tennis shoes.

Horse Trailer

Expensive movable urinal for horses. (and occasionally riders)

Horse shoes

Expensive semi-circular projectiles that horses like to throw.

Inbreeding

The breeding results of broken/inadequate pasture fencing.

Jumping

The characteristic movement that an equine makes when given a vaccine or has his hooves trimmed.

Lameness

The condition of most riders after the first few rides each year; can be a chronic condition in weekend riders.

Lead Rope

A long apparatus instrumental in the administration of rope burns. Also used by excited horses to take a handler for a drag.

Longeing

A training method a horse uses on its owner with the purpose making the owner spin in circles-rendering the owner dizzy and light-headed so that they get sick and pass out, so the horse can go back to grazing.

Manure spreader

Horse traders

Mosquitoes

Radar equipped blood sucking insects that typically reach the size of small birds.

Mustang

The type of horse your husband would gladly trade your favorite one for...preferably in a red convertible and V-8.

Overreaching

A descriptive term used to explain the condition your credit cards are in by the end of endurance/show season.

Parasites

Small children (no flames please) that get in your way when you work in the barn. Many gather in swarms at horse shows.

Pinto

A colorful (usually green) coat pattern found on a freshly washed and sparkling clean grey horse that was left unattended in his stall for ten minutes.

Pit Crews

Absolutely indispensable people occasionally noted for their ability to get lost, be in the way, eat all the food, or be sleeping in the camper when you finish a 100 mile ride.

Pony

The true size of the stallion that you bred your mare to via transported semen-that was advertised as 15 hands tall.

Proud Flesh

The external reproductive organs flaunted by a stallion when a horse of any gender is present. Often displayed in halter classes.

Quarter Cracks

The comments that most Arabian owners make about the people who own Quarter Horses.

Quittor

A term trainers have commonly used to refer to their clients who come to their senses and pull horses out of their barns.

Race

What your heart does when you see the vet bill.

Rasp

An abrasive, long, flat metal tool used to remove excess skin from the knuckles.

Reins

Break-away leather device used to tie horses with.

Ringworms

Spectators who block your view and gather around the rail sides at horse shows.

Sacking out

A condition caused by Sleeping Sickness (see below). The state of deep sleep a mare owner will be in at the time a mare actually goes into labor and foals.

Saddle

An expensive leather contraption manufactured to give the rider a false sense of security. Comes in many styles, all feature built-in ejector seats.

Saddle Sore

The way the rider's bottom feels the morning after an endurance ride weekend.

Sleeping Sickness

A disease peculiar to mare owners while waiting for their mares to foal. Caused by nights of lost sleep, symptoms include irritability, red baggy eyes and a zombie-like waking state. Can last several weeks.

Splint

An apparatus that can be applied to various body parts of a rider due to the parting of the ways of a horse and his passenger.

Stall

What your truck does on the way to am endurance ride, 150 miles from the closest town.

Tack Room

A room where every item necessary to work with or train your horse has been put, in a place which it cannot be found in less than 30 minutes.

Twisted Gut

The feeling deep inside that most riders get before the endurance ride.

Versatility

an owners ability to shovel manure, fix fences and chase down a loose horse in one afternoon.

Vet Catalog

An illustrated brochure provided to stable owners that features a wide array of products that are currently out of stock or have been dropped from a company's inventory.

Weaving

The movement a horse trailer makes while going down the road with a rambunctious horse in it.

Whip Marks

The tell-tale raised welts on the face of a rider-caused by the trail rider directly in front of you letting a low hanging ranch go. (Also caused by a wet or dry horse tail across the face while cleaning hooves)

Windpuffs

Stallion owners. Also applied to used car salesmen.

Withers

The reason you'll seldom see a man riding bareback.

Yearling

the age at which all horses completely forget the things you taught them previously.

Youngstock

A general term used for all equines old enough to bite, kick or run you over, but not yet old enough to dump you on the ground.

Zoo

The typical atmosphere around most horse owner s houses before a weekend excursion.

Note - This list was posted on rec.equestrian by someone who was unsure of the original source, so I unfortunately can't give the author the credit that s/he deserves.