Ever wonder what it would be like if Gates & Co. built horses? In a cross-tie training discussion on Equine-L, Pat Harris made a flip comment that horses "don't come with Microsoft Crosstie v.4.1 (or anything other skill we take for granted) already installed on their hard drives." That generated this response from Sue Leopold.
Gee Pat, I'm not sure I'd want my horse to come "preinstalled" with
Micro$oft Training $oftware. I mean just imagine what that would
- Frequently and for no apparent reason, your horse turns blue and
stops dead until you shut it off and turn it back on again.
- Every couple of months you would have to go to the web server
for the latest "service release" and "patch" your horse in a
vain attempt to keep it from turning blue or reacting in unexpected
ways to your aids.
- Instead of a trainer or coach, your horse would come complete
with a "Training Assistant" (with AD/HD) who offers advice totally
unrelated to the problem your experiencing.
- Your horse would no longer be named "Chrissy" or "Berto" or even
"Bold 'n Brassy" but would be labeled "My Horsie"
- Every tackroom would have a photo of Bill Gates rather than
Alois Podjasky, George Morris, Rocky Dare or John Lyons et al
In some cases the photo would be superimposed on a dartboard.
- Marv Walker would offer clinics in "Geek Speak - Learning to
Communicate With Your Horse Effectively"
- The AHSA and USDF would have to rename the test from Training,
First, Second Etc to Version 1, 1.1, 1.1.1, 1.1.1a ... The
order would no longer follow a progression but instead would
veer around between versions and calendar years.
- When buying new tack you will have to be sure that it not only
fits your horse but is compatible with its installed version of the
- Instead of calling the vet when you have a problem, you run
the "ScanHorse" application
- Some trainers, in a fit of pique, will buck the system and turn
to alternative platforms, thus leading to a small group of horses
that not only smile but come in various fruity colors.
Sue and Chrissy, who come to think of itis currently a shade of
orange rather reminiscent of the "tangerine" iMac
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